Talk:Feminist Majority Foundation

First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Melody,

Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to just those parts of the entry that you've already begun to develop, but bear in mind that you still need to fill in the missing sections and the bibliography, external links, and related articles subpages.

• A lot of the info that's currently in the "History" section would probably be more effective in the encyclopedia entry's intro.
• You might restructure the "History" section so that the "Founding" subsection comes first (and includes the information about the motivation behind the organization's name), followed by new subsections that you create to chronicle the organization's history since the late 1980s.
• The "Founding" subsection might explain more about the motivation behind founding the organization. Who was Eleanor Smeal? Why did she decide to found the organization? How did she go about it? On that note, just a quick glance at the organization's webpage on its history provides a wealth of information (including the names of Smeal's co-founders) that you might draw on in developing this section.
• The section on "Current objectives and activities" needs to be a lot less vague than it is currently. The paragraph you wrote about Abortion for Survival in the "Achievements" section is a good model for the level of specificity and detail you should be seeking to attain here. That said, you might develop the "Achievements" section still further to include other things like legislative victories.

Shamira Gelbman 23:43, 2 October 2009 (UTC)