Talk:Feminist Majority Foundation

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 Definition Working for social, political and economic equality for women by using research and education to improve women's lives. [d] [e]
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 Workgroup categories politics and eduzendium [Please add or review categories]
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First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Melody,

Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to just those parts of the entry that you've already begun to develop, but bear in mind that you still need to fill in the missing sections and the bibliography, external links, and related articles subpages.

  • A lot of the info that's currently in the "History" section would probably be more effective in the encyclopedia entry's intro.
  • You might restructure the "History" section so that the "Founding" subsection comes first (and includes the information about the motivation behind the organization's name), followed by new subsections that you create to chronicle the organization's history since the late 1980s.
  • The "Founding" subsection might explain more about the motivation behind founding the organization. Who was Eleanor Smeal? Why did she decide to found the organization? How did she go about it? On that note, just a quick glance at the organization's webpage on its history provides a wealth of information (including the names of Smeal's co-founders) that you might draw on in developing this section.
  • The section on "Current objectives and activities" needs to be a lot less vague than it is currently. The paragraph you wrote about Abortion for Survival in the "Achievements" section is a good model for the level of specificity and detail you should be seeking to attain here. That said, you might develop the "Achievements" section still further to include other things like legislative victories.

Shamira Gelbman 23:43, 2 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments

Your hisotry section was well done, you may want to consider changing the sentence, "of the FMF endeavor to include a global perspective and activities to encourage leadership development, in particular among young women", to "particularily amongst young women". Also you need to upload an image and edit the public info box, which still has the information for microsoft." I intially struggled with figuring out how to edit this box, feel free to emial me at rdlippe@ilstu.edu if you need help with editing the "public info" section. YOu must elaborate on the oranizational sturcture, as well as public perception/controversies. Predisdent Obama recently signed historic anti-hate crime legislation, a cause the FMF was vigilant in supporting. You may want to give mention to this is in public perception or recent acheviements. While parts of your entry still need completion, you are on the right start. Ryan Lippe