Talk:Violence Policy Center: Difference between revisions

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imported>Caitlin Ryan
(New page: {{subpages}})
 
imported>Shamira Gelbman
(first evaluation comments)
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==First (instructor) evaluation comments==
Hi Caitlin,
Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the section you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.
* The intro is off to a pretty good start; however, you might explain a bit more about what you mean by considering gun violence a public health issue in addition to a crime issue.
* Overall, the information contained in the "current objectives and activities" section could be much more reader-friendly. There's a bit too much going on in each paragraph and the second one, especially, seems to be more of a list of events than an explanation of what the VPC is currently doing. 
[[User:Shamira Gelbman|Shamira Gelbman]] 01:03, 5 October 2009 (UTC)
==Second (peer) evaluation comments==

Revision as of 20:03, 4 October 2009

This article is a stub and thus not approved.
Main Article
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First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Caitlin,

Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the section you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.

  • The intro is off to a pretty good start; however, you might explain a bit more about what you mean by considering gun violence a public health issue in addition to a crime issue.
  • Overall, the information contained in the "current objectives and activities" section could be much more reader-friendly. There's a bit too much going on in each paragraph and the second one, especially, seems to be more of a list of events than an explanation of what the VPC is currently doing.

Shamira Gelbman 01:03, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments