Talk:Violence Policy Center: Difference between revisions

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imported>Caitlin Ryan
(New page: {{subpages}})
 
imported>Shamira Gelbman
(first evaluation comments)
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==First (instructor) evaluation comments==
Hi Caitlin,
Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the section you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.
* The intro is off to a pretty good start; however, you might explain a bit more about what you mean by considering gun violence a public health issue in addition to a crime issue.
* Overall, the information contained in the "current objectives and activities" section could be much more reader-friendly. There's a bit too much going on in each paragraph and the second one, especially, seems to be more of a list of events than an explanation of what the VPC is currently doing. 
[[User:Shamira Gelbman|Shamira Gelbman]] 01:03, 5 October 2009 (UTC)
==Second (peer) evaluation comments==

Revision as of 20:03, 4 October 2009

This article is a stub and thus not approved.
 Main Article
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Definition [?]
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External Links  [?]
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 Definition:  Please add a brief definition or description.
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 Workgroup categories:  Politics and Eduzendium [Please add or review categories]
 Talk Archive:  none  English language variant:  American English
To do.

Metadata here


First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Caitlin,

Here are some suggestions for further improvement to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the section you've already begun developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.

  • The intro is off to a pretty good start; however, you might explain a bit more about what you mean by considering gun violence a public health issue in addition to a crime issue.
  • Overall, the information contained in the "current objectives and activities" section could be much more reader-friendly. There's a bit too much going on in each paragraph and the second one, especially, seems to be more of a list of events than an explanation of what the VPC is currently doing.

Shamira Gelbman 01:03, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments

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