Unobtanium

Unobtanium {{#lst:Unobtanium/Properties|Atomic mass}} +2 +4   {{#lst:Unobtanium/Properties|Atomic symbol}} {{#lst:Unobtanium/Properties|Atomic number}} a[Xe]2+b[Xe]+c 14,6,p [ ? ] In a class by itself: Properties: Unobtanium has properties! Compounds: Compounde are generally unavailable Uses: Speculative Hazard: wild goose chases

Unobtanium is created by frission with phlogiston suspended in the ether, according to secret alchemical documents recently discovered in a cave in France. Unobtanium is generally not obtained by mining or smelting, but wishful thinking has proven useful. Deflogistrated (American spelling) Unobtanium is less easily refined. Processes for purification of deflogistrated Unobtanium have remained a closely guarded trade secret of the Doo Chemical corporation.

Its properties were always so similar to the last chemical that occupied the test tube that chemists originally planned to name it Averagium. That plan miscarried when a technician broke the test tube and replaced it with one from the stroe room, but lost its label.

In a related serendipitous discovery, medical researchers searching for possible alergic reactions to various Unobtainic salts discovered it to be a reasonably efficatious treatment for hypochondria.